Often times we are blinded by what we actually see; by what happens before our eyes, by wrapping up in details and we miss the big picture: the grand scenario that may happen upon us or the destination we’re wanting to arrive at.
Close your eyes and see it. Stepping back to see the big picture is so important.
(picture taken at W Hotel Doha)
It’s said that around 36,000 Indonesians living in Qatar, majority of whom (19,000) are labor workers, and about 6,000 professionals and their families. But Qatar is so small that you will bump into the same person in many other occasions.Eventually we’re just a dot inside Venn Diagram intersections. Some may be present at intersections of two diagrams, some at four, or even more. Chances are you are a member of your ex-company associations, your professional association, your university alumni association, or hobby/interest associations.
Okay, let me give you my example. I am a member of ex-Unocal (once an oil and gas company before taken over by Chevron) alumni association, a member of Bandung Institute of Technology Alumni Association (IA ITB), a member of Petroleum Engineer Association (IATMI) Chapter Qatar, and a member of non-formal groups like Sand Dune Community, Fishing Community, Sundanese Community (though I’m not a Sundanese) or Hajj Group. Many of them are on the same two or more associations, making meeting the same faces is not unusual. Though I’m sometimes surprised to find new facts: “Oh, I don’t know that you are from….” “Hey…how come you are here?” “Sigghh…it turns out we’re linked..” .etc.
One thing for sure is that the more diagrams you have the wider social networking you own. And it surely will be beneficial for ‘staying strong’ in this foreign soil.
I noticed that for couple of weekends recently I spent them accidentally without going to malls. Hmmmm…. so it’s possible, it’s doable to spent weekend without them. These weekends-without-going-to-malls are worthy exercise as those big attractive red banner hanging everywhere (read: SALE) – how do you know then? – inviting unnecessary spending 🙂
In fact, it’s no that difficult to pass the weekends without malls. Last weekend for example, I went for night fishing and dune bashing Thursday night till Friday morning, then went for gathering in the afternoon. On Saturday, I spent the whole day with my kids, playing board games, rearranging their toy rooms, and reading. This weekend, another example, I spent reading on Thursday night, went to Al Khor for photo hunting in the morning of Friday, visited a friend in the afternoon till evening. On Saturday, lingered the whole morning and then went to Corniche till late afternoon.
So, it’s possible.
Next big thing is a weekend without TV and then without internet? Is it doable?
I’ll let you know.
The second book I read is an English edition of “Negeri 5 Menara”: The Land of Five Towers.
Inspired by a true story, the book’s main message is one thing: that He who gives his all will surely succeed, or if you give it everything you’ve got you will surely succeed.
The story has it that Alif had never set foot outside of West Sumatra. He passed his childhood days searching for fallen durian fruit in the jungle, playing soccer on rice paddies, and swimming in the blue waters of Lake Maninjau. His mother wants him to attend an Islamic boarding school, a pesantren, while he dreams of public high school. Halfheartedly, he follows his mother’s wishes. He finds himself on a grueling three-day bus ride from Sumatra to Madani Pesantren (MP) in a remote village on Java.
On his first day at MP, Alif is captivated by the powerful phrase man jadda wajada. He who gives his all will surely succeed. United by punishment, he quickly becomes friends with five boys from across the archipelago, and together they become known as the Fellowship of the Manara. Beneath the mosque’s minaret, the boys gaze at the clouds on the horizon, seeing in them their individual dreams of far-away lands, like America and Europe. Where would these dreams take them? They didn’t know. What they did know was: never underestimate dreams, no matter how high they may be. God truly is The Listener.
The Land of 5 Towers is the first book in a trilogy written by A. Fuadi—a former TEMPO & VOA reporter, photography buff, and a social entrepreneur. He went to George Washington University and Royal Holloway, University of London for his masters. A portion of the royalties from the trilogy are intended to build Komunitas Menara, a volunteer-based social organization which aims to provide free schools, libraries, clinics and soup kitchens for the less fortunate.
At many points, I have reflections on the book as some of my life experiences proved that man jadda wajada:
– I was forced out of university taking sick leave for one semester due to sick after an expedition in Ujung Kulon National Park, 1995. Skipping one semester means that I must wait in some subjects to next year to complete certain subjects as they are interdependent: you can’t take one subject unles you pass pre-requisite subject. Then, I decided to focus on study (chemical engineering), to keep minimal extracurricular activities, and to catch up others. Finally I could graduate in due time, 4.5 years, with cum laude!
– I pursued my master degree in National University of Singapore. Although I got scholarship, all of my family expenses were relied on/supported only through my own savings that probably barely enough for 2 years. Given this tight financial situation I forced my self to complete master program in only 1 year (instead of 1.5 years for normal full time student). With all hardships, at the end, one year and good GPA were the results. Man jadda wajada.
Do you have the similar experiences?
* the book is now filmed under the same title. See on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/FilmNegeri5Menara*
Amidst the busy vacation, I forced myself to complete reading books. One of the five books is about financial planning. The title seems intriguing; opposite to what normally best sellers have, things like how to become rich, super duper quick ways to become rich, financial freedom in very flash time, etc.
The author, Ligwina Hananto, talked about strengthening the middle class. Middle class is like most people in Indonesia. Average of us: have income, can live proper, can go shopping, able to take vacation once a year, able to spend time in cafe, able to watch movie in cinema. Middle class feel they have enough about their financial issues as it turns out they don’t have proper plan and their power of purchase are not maintained with ability to sustain the life style for longer term.
In summary she recommended that we should have:
– Educational Fund, that enough to compensate for tuition fee increase and inflation. Here she wakes me up that saving does not solve everything. Though I have had two educational saving plans, I still have some homeworks. That I must invest in moderate to high risk instrument for long term plan to be able to meet the always increasing education fee.
– Emergency Fund, that addequate to cover our living expenses during hard time (lay-off, unfortunate events, etc.). For a family with two children, 12 months emergency fund is recommended. This fund is not necessarily achieved in one go. Putting money into gold investment may be a good idea in here. Another homework.
– Pension and Protection Plan, through insurances and pension plan. I think I get them covered although pension plan to be increased to ensure that the current life style can still be maintained in retirement life.
– Personal Fund, for vacation, sharing, charity, or religious intention.
Ligwina also provided readers with 100 steps/checklist financial action plan, from separating monthly expenses with weekly expenses, pay all credit card bills every month, own the first house, to starting to own active asset, and ensuring pension fund achieved, so forth and so forth.
The book makes me scared. But scared that gets me think and take action! Thanks for “pinching me”, Ligwina!
“I have been working here for 13 years, brother” he answered when I asked how long he has been in Qatar. “I am coming from Bangladesh”. Then, story flows from what his job is, his work routine, to his accommodation and food conditions.
I rarely give a ride to a stranger, due to potential liability should there be – God forbids – accident happen, but one Saturday noon after attending Train Shutdown activities, I gave a ride to this Bangladeshi man from Ras Laffan to Al Khor. It turned out that this man is working as a cleaner in a mosque in one of the companies in Ras Laffan.
“My work routine is from Sunday to Thursday, until 3.30pm. Then on Saturday until 12noon. Friday I am off” explained him in broken English. The cleaning service company provides him with an accommodation in Al Khor Industrial Area, and food for dinner. “But the dinner is not good”. “At work I sometimes have my lunch at canteen. But only after 2pm, after lunch time for employees is over. It is actually prohibited to have a lunch at canteen. Mudhir (read: boss) gives me this”. Okay, so he gets leftover from canteen, I am trying to digest his explanation.
“My salary, sir, is only 850 riyals. Never increased since 13 years ago. “
What! I was stunned. Really stunned.
I dropped him at safe road side near Industrial Area. My driving time back to Doha then was filled with afterthought. Life is really hard. This man is hailing from as far as Bangladesh only for meagre salary and hard life. I must appreciate his endeavor.
I oftenly give an example to my kids about the unfortunate people, such as low-income workers. Not for looking them down but as a reflection, a lesson of life to be always grateful, always be kind-hearted, charitable. I frequently emphasize to my kids how education and generally competencies can make a difference, and that I can’t tolerate them like to being ignorant to school or study.
What seems to be a simple ride was giving me valuable lesson of life.
Some Islamic quotes:
“What actions are most excellent? To gladden the heart of human beings, to feed the hungry, to help the afflicted, to lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful, and to remove the sufferings of the injured.” (Bukhari)
“When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, look to those, who have been given less.” (Muslim)
“Whoever is kind, Allah will be kind to him; therefore be kind to man on the earth. He Who is in heaven will show mercy on you.”(Abu Daud: Tirmidhi)
“Allah does not look at your appearance or your possessions; but He looks at your heart and your deeds.” (Abu Huraira: Muslim)
“The perfect Muslim is not a perfect Muslim, who eats till he is full and leaves his neighbors hungry.” (Ibn Abbas: Baihaqi)
Really true! The below wise words from Mario Teguh pacifies me whenever bad behaviors from others done to me. Like for example when I am being humiliated or intimidated on road here 🙂 by those who give flashing from behind though I am obeying speed limit or just 200m from roundabout, those who are cutting the lane abruptly, and those road users that have no sense of respect.
What harmful from
the bad behavior of others done to you,
is not the behavior, but their impact
to your peace.
… Your frustation and angry
can ruin the mood,
and encourage you to
be as bad as them
with plans to retaliate.
Ignore.
Some of us is just a test for us.
Live for your better future,
although without them.
Be patient.
—-
Yang membahayakan
dari perilaku buruk orang lain kepada Anda,
bukanlah perilakunya, tapi dampaknya
kepada kedamaian Anda.
…Rasa kecewa dan marah Anda
bisa merusak suasana hati,
dan mendorong Anda untuk
menjadi seburuk mereka
dengan rencana untuk membalas.
Abaikanlah.
Sebagian dari kita adalah cobaan bagi kita yang lain.
Hiduplah untuk masa depan Anda yang lebih baik,
walau tanpa mereka.
Bersabarlah.
“Without dreams and hopes, people like us will die, Kal.”
This line from Sang Pemimpi (The Dreamers), sums up the idea at the very core of the film.
During my short escape to bandung last week for 4 days, I watched “Sang Pemimpi“, just recently launched on 17 Dec 2009. Sang Pemimpi is an Indonesian film adapted from the best-selling Laskar Pelangi (Rainbow Troops) tetralogy novel by Andrea Hirata. Sang Pemimpi is the second title of four, the first being Laskar Pelangi, also adapted to a film that made a record of 4.2mn viewers.
Producer Mira Lesmana and director Riri Riza, the duo who founded the production company Miles Films that produced Laskar Pelangi – are working together on the sequel titled Sang Pemimpi
While Laskar Pelangi tells us about the beauty of struggle in schooling of Rainbow Troops in an small island of Belitong, on the coast of Sumatera, Sang Pemimpi recounts the tale of three teenagers who sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for making their dreams come true.
The story starts with Ikal, the little boy whose adventures deliver new meaning to his hometown in Belitung, to rediscover itself as a beautiful island rather than as one Indonesia’s major tin producers. But rather than sharing the story of growing pains with his old gang, in Sang Pemimpi, Ikal moves on with a new troop, Arai and Jimbron, whose lives, also, are controversial for children of their age.
Arai, Ikal’s cousin, sees the world through rose-colored glasses. He was sent to live with Ikal after the death of his father. Jimbron also is an orphan who developed a stutter after his father died in his arms. Raised by a priest, Jimbron, who admires horses as his muses, reads the Koran and performs the five daily prayers at the mosque.
These three musketeers take part in youthful escapades and tasks while studying at a pesantren (Islamic boarding school), hiding from their kyai (head of the school and spiritual leader) to watch Lone Ranger films, saving money by working in Manggar’s market and harbor to pay for their schooling, and “finding” snow in local groceries.
But in the film, we see how these small things can lead into bigger dreams in life. The fake snow made them promise to strive for a better education that will lead them to places where they can touch real snow. And their activities bind them together in the closeness of a deepening friendship, during the happiest and saddest moments. Their story follows them through their teen crises when they enter that golden yet bloody phase of their lives: high school.
The teenage life of Ikal, Arai and Jimbron begin at Manggar High School under the supervision of a young, highly determined and spirited teacher, Pak Julia Balia (Nugie). He infects his students with fresh ideas of pursuing their dreams to study at Sorbonne University in Paris, France. Although the question of “why the Sorbonne?” is never fully answered – although Paris appeared in Laskar Pelangi as a picture on a box owned by Ikal’s love interest – from that moment, Ikal, Arai and Jimbron’s dream of touching real snow crystallizes into that one destination, Paris.
In Pak Balia’s class, the three rascals continue their journey into adulthood through the wisdom they learn from inspirational people around the world. Pak Balia takes moments to utter his favorite lines such as, “Just scream out your words of spirit today” or “You need to know how words in themselves have such an incredible power” in a way reminiscent of the scene in Dead Poets Society when John Keating (Robin Williams) stands on his table and provokes his students by asking what verses they would like to have in their life.
Amid all these sweet little stories and surprises, Sang Pemimpi also offers plenty for viewers to feast their eyes on. There are beautiful shots of the island to enjoy (not to mention the expensive underwater scene) and the soundtrack comes from such well-known rock bands and singers as Gigi, Ungu and Bonita.
In the meantime, the question remains of whether Ikal, Arai and Jimbron will finally be able to realize their dream of touching the snow in Paris. The story of the efforts of these three ambitious dreamers and their growing pains is as touching as the first installment.
Given the beautifully heartbreaking and sometimes, funny plot, the excellent performance of the actors and the crew’s hardwork, Sang Pemimpi is not a movie that needs to hinge on another, as it is excellent. (Source: The Jakarta Post).
I personnaly recommend you to watch this movie. Light, touching, educating, sometimes funny and nostalgic. Three times better than the first film of sequel!
Trailers
OST – Sang Pemimpi by Gigi
“Kuberi tahu satu rahasia besar padamu Kawan
Buah paling manis dari berani bermimpi
Adalah kejadian-kejadian menakjubkan
Dalam perjalanan menggapainya”
(“Mimpi-mimpi Lintang, by Andrea Hirata)
Berada di sini. Semuanya berawal dari mimpi. Mimpi akan bekerja di luar. Mimpi travelling ke daerah-daerah baru. Mimpi menyekolahkan anak ke international school. Mimpi meningkatkan taraf hidup.
Tapi bukan sekedar mimpi. Melainkan tujuan yang harus dicapai, dengan perencanaan dan motivasi mencapainya. Dalam perjalanan menuju ke sini dan selama berada di sini, aku meyakini kebenaran frasa di atas mengenai kejadian-kejadian menakjubkan yang mengiringinya. Tak selalu manis, bahkan bisa sangat pahit. Tapi itulah buah termanis dari keberanian bermimpi untuk bisa berada di sini!
“Bermimpilah dan Tuhan akan memeluk mimpi-mimpi kita” (Arai)
—– English ———-
“Let me tell you a great secret my friend
The sweetest fruits of daring to dream
Are amazing events
In pursuit of the dream”
( “Lintang’s Dreams, by Andrea Hirata)
Being in here. It all started from a dream. The dream to work overseas. The dream to travel to new areas. The dream to send children to international school. The dream of improving standard of living .
But it’s not just a dream. But a goal that should be achieved, with the planning and motivation to achieve. On the journey to here and while being here, I believe the truth of the above phrases about the amazing events that accompanied. Not always sweet, even very bitter. But that’s the sweetest fruit of the courage to dream to be here!
“Dream and the Lord will embrace our dreams” (Arai)
Berada jauh dari pasangan untuk waktu yang lama jelas membawa konsekuensi emotional. Apalagi mereka yang punya siklus pergi-bertemu regular dengan jeda pergi lama dan ketemu yang singkat. Banyak rekan yang bekerja pada plant yang masih dalam tahap konstruksi tidak diperkenankan membawa keluarga, tapi dikasih fasilitas pulang setiap 3 bulan untuk 10-14 hari. Ada juga yang mungkin sudah berbulan/tahun tidak pulang lalu pulang untuk 1-2 bulan dan pergi lagi. Ketika bertemu pun pasangan membutuhkan beberapa waktu untuk resettle – karena begitu banyak yang terjadi dalam sekian bulan dan pasangan punya banyak hal untuk dikejar . Siklus seperti ini mengaduk-aduk emotional dan ikatan antar pasangan.
Bagaimana sih siklus emotional pasangan dengan kondisi seperti ini?
Contoh yang paling mudah adalah tentara, yang dikirim ke daerah konflik (deployment) untuk say 6 bulan atau lebih, kemudian pulang tapi belum sempat establish relationship yang semula sudah disuruh pergi lagi. At some point pekerja dengan ritme seperti tentara juga mengalami hal yang mirip.
Stage 1: Anticipation of loss
Typically occurs four to six weeks before the partner leave, and is a period marked by increasing tension – which allows emotional distance between two.
Stage 2: Detachment and withdrawal
Happens in the final days before departure. Couple feels that they should be enjoying the last few days but feel a sense of despair and hopelessness. Sexual intimacy can be difficult, and partners often feel that they want to get on with the leaving part.
Stage 3: Emotional disorganization
The first six weeks after departure. Initial sense of relief, followed by guilt, numbness, aimlessness, and loss of purpose for one left behind. New routines must be established – feelings of being overwhelmed and difficulty sleeping/excessive sleeping are common. The deployed partner feels loneliness and frustration.
Stage 4: Recovery and stabilization
The partner at home starts to cope, and adopt the role of “single spouse”. New freedoms emerges, stress levels drop and the separation becomes bearable.
Stage 5: Anticipation of homecoming
Happens up to six weeks before homecoming. Can be a time of mixed emotions, such as apprehension or excitement. Those returning may be worried how they will be accepted. Restlessness and confusion may occur.
Stage 6: Renegotiation of marriage
Occurs up to six weeks after reunion. Couples are together physically, but not necessarily emotionally. Some left behind may feel a loss of freedom and independence. There may be feelings of being disorganized and out of control. Sexual relations may seem frightening. Couples need time together to become reacquainted before they can expect true intimacy.
Stage 7: Reintegration and stabilization
Happens six to 12 weeks after homecoming. New routine have been established, spouses feel relaxed and comfortable together again.
Lalu apakah hubungan seperti ini selalu berarti hal yang buruk? Tidak selalu – seperti peribahasa “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Menurutku sih yang terbaik adalah usual 5-2 office work cycle. Kalopun harus on-off, siklus 2 weeks on 2 weeks off adalah yang terbaik. Serasa pengantin baru terus, kata temenku.
At the bottom line, setiap orang tahu bahwa kunci dari berada jauh adalah komunikasi. Kadang karena masing-masing tidak mendapatkan kabar secara regular, mereka akan kehilangan perspektif dari dunia masing-masing pasangan. Beruntunglah kita yang sekarang berada dalam gelimang teknologi. SMS, MMS, webcam, email, weblog, dst memberikan banyak opsi untuk berkomunikasi. Yang kedua adalah menekankan niat, bahwa berada jauh ini adalah konsekuensi dari keputusan untuk mendapatkan hal yang lebih baik yang telah diambil bersama dan kita harus konsisten dengan itu. Ketiga, berada jauh bukan alasan memudarnya perasaan kita terhadap pasangan, justeru kita harus mengambil kesempatan dari jauhnya ini. Semacam ujian kesetiaan, ujian romantis, yang kalau lulus that will make the heart grow fonder. Taiye?
(Source: mainly from The Times)
CGK-DOH 